


Hell is where I dreamt of you and woke up alone

by BadWolfNovak



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: As Much As I Love Them, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky goes missing, Captain America Sam Wilson, Captain Carol Danvers - Freeform, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint misses her, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, I feel bad about this, I miss her, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse, Natasha Is Gone, No Barton Family, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Bobbi Morse friendly, Not Canon Compliant, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Carol Danvers, Protective Sam Wilson, old man Steve doesn't come back, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 03:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18908164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWolfNovak/pseuds/BadWolfNovak
Summary: When Clint's ex wife/on and off lover comes back into the picture, Bucky realizes that they never really fell out of love. He's gotta go, as much as it hurts, so Hawkeye can be with his true partner Mockingbird.There's no room for winter when their love is as bright as the sun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look this is probably not gonna make sense. Here's what you need to know going in :  
> •Bobbi and Clint used to be married, a long time ago  
> •They were on and off a lot  
> •After infinity war and Endgame shield is rebuilt in Tony's memory (Stark agents instead of Shield agents)  
> • this story is going backwards?  
> Idk I started writing a break up scene and I'll fill in what led to it I guess as the story progresses? If it progresses? Idk

"This isn't going to work! It was _never_ going to work, okay?" He's breathing hard, hands in his hair pulling in frustration. "We were...god we were trying to play happy couple and it's time to stop. We gotta stop pretending..you don't want _me_ , so let's just quit before...before I fall any further in love with you. Okay?"

There's a long silence and Clint tries to move forward, tries to reach out and comfort the other man only to be flinched away from.

"What do I- what can I say- that will make this better? What do you want me to do, I'll do anything, just...don't do this. Please, after everything, don't end it like this.." Clint tries again to pull Bucky into his arms only to be pushed away weakly, from someone who's given up. "Don't leave me like this. We can fix this."

  
"Don't. Don't try to talk your way outta this, Barton." Bucky laughs bitterly, eyes wet as he looks anywhere but directly at Clint. "It's okay, I know what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't give a shit about timing. You've met Steve for Christ's sake. Just..I want you to be happy and _I've seen how you look at her_. Even when she leaves, you look at her like...I don't know..like she's everything you've ever needed."

The archer can't find anything more to say, doesn't think anything he does say will make a difference. He can't deny anything that's been said and his dumb brain can't figure out how to fix the mess he's gotten himself into.

  
"When Steve left, I thought that was it for me. He went back to her and I was...damaged goods or whatever. Just more proof that I'm not anything to anyone." The soldier sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "When Pepper rebuilt this place and invited me to stay, I had a place to belong. And then you started inviting me to the range and I felt like maybe I could do this whole Avenger thing, maybe I could wash my hands of the blood. I let my guard down with you and this is where I end up." He scoffs, biting at his lip anxiously. He's got his arms wrapped around himself like he's trying not to fall apart. "I don't blame you and I don't hate you, I just...I wish...I shouldn't have gotten close. After everything I've done, it was stupid of me to think that I could have something like this. And for me to think that no one had snatched your heart already."

"Bucky...you deserve the world. You deserve so much better than _me_ but fuck am I glad that you chose me. Please don't do this, I don't want you to leave, I need you. I will get on my knees and beg if that's what it'll take, I'll tell her to get the hell out of my life, I'll do anything.. anything. Just tell me what I need to do." Clint tries again to plead for it not to end, moving closer, not touching but wanting to so bad.

Bucky swallows the lump in his throat and closes his eyes briefly to push back the tears. He steps forward and he's got the metal hand over Clint's heart, trying not to clench his shirt but doing it involuntarily anyways. "Don't be stupid, don't fuck it up with her again. And don't follow me." He says quietly before pressing a chaste kiss to the blond's cheek. He's quick to leave, knowing if he stayed for even another second, he'd never would have made it out. He'd fall back into the trap and get his heart broken all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again idk what this story is  
> It's a jumble of thoughts and ideas and I don't really care if anyone likes it or not

It stings, his cheek where Bucky kissed it for the last time. He knows it doesn't really but it feels like it does. Clint feels frozen in place, still touching his cheek and letting the silent tears run down his face. The time registers when he hears Lucky's bark at the door and Wanda's voice asking him if he was decent. The archer is quick to rub his face and hide in the bathroom, avoiding his reflection as he splashes water on his face.

When he comes out, Wanda is frowning and has her arms crossed. "What did Bobbi do this time? Am i going to have to tell Rhodey to keep her off the grounds?" She threatens with narrowed eyes.

"Not Bobbi. _Bucky_. He left me so I can be with Bobbi. Said something about the way I look at her and she's what I need and...I don't know. He just...ended it." Clint says, starting a pot of coffee so he doesn't have to look at Wanda as he speaks, so she won't see how affected he really was by it all.

"Bucky said Bobbi was what you needed? _Bobbi_? The woman who divorced you and then kept showing up and getting involved with you only to leave again when she remembered why it didn't work in the first place? He thinks _she's what you need_? Seriously?" Wanda says, throwing her hands up in exasperation. She shakes her head and sighs, "Why would he think that?"

"Clint, why would he think that?" She asks again after she doesn't get an answer. The witch watches as the team's resident archer pours himself a mug of coffee with slightly shaky hands and takes a long drink.

Clint looks down into his mug. "She talked me down from a flashback. A really personal one, about my family that only few people know about. She did it when Bucky couldn't and she kinda scolded him about not knowing. I should have said something, should have...it wasn't his fault he didn't know. We've been having problems since she came around the first time, and I don't know maybe this was the last straw for him. A sign or something." He rubs his nose and takes another drink.

Wanda furrows her brows in confusion. "You've been together for a few months now, why doesn't he know? And why do you keep letting her come back? She's not even an Avenger, she's barely even a Stark agent." She sighs when she doesn't get an answer again. She rests her chin on her hand and blows out a breath. "If _Natasha_ were here, you know she'd never let her stick around.."

"Well she's not here okay! She's not here anymore! She's gone and she left me here! Everyone keeps leaving..." Clint's outburst is loud and over quickly as he dumps the rest of his coffee into the sink. "I'm going to bed, I don't wanna talk to anybody, you know where the door is." He throws over his shoulder as he stalks to his bedroom and closes the door.

 

 


End file.
